Three Reasons Why Somali Pirates should find new careers

     I saw Captain Phillips Yesterday. It was a little inaccurate compared to the TV documentary I saw, but it was pretty good. I also totally didn't know that it was Tom Hanks in the movie until like, eight minutes ago. Seriously though, Somali Pirates are a serious problem. It's gotten so bad that Britney Spears is now our most effective counter-piracy weapon: http://www.kpopstarz.com/articles/68394/20131205/britney-spears-songs-aimed-somali-pirates-new-weapon-high-seas.htm  I mean, seriously?
     Here's why Somalians should stop being pirates.
     1. Having nuclear waste dumped on you is no excuse for rude behavior
     People say that Somalia only turned to piracy after companies owned by the Italian mafia dumped nuclear waste in their waters. Whether or not this happened, it's no excuse. Seriously. Ukraine didn't go all crazy after Chernobyl (they were crazy long before; its those darn Russians). Pennsylvanians don't hijack cars traveling from New York to Ohio because of Three Mile Island. And when the Fukushima disaster hit Japan, there was NO LOOTING. I know I give Japan a hard time, but its legitimately refreshing to see people act with some honor now a days. In fact, the Japanese are quite orderly in all they do.

Rush Hour in Osaka.

(Sorry, Japan, I couldn't resist. I do genuinely admire the honor with which you conduct yourselves.)
     So no excuses, Somalia. Even if you are a third world country, its still no excuse to act like this. In fact, we're trying to help you out...

     2. The ships they hijack often carry aid for Africa

     Remember the Maersk Alabama? That's what Captain Phillips was about. Yeah. It was carrying a bunch of food aid. Ships carrying aid were hijacked in '05 and '07 too. It's called "looking a gift horse in the mouth", and it's not nice. Now, I'm not supposed to be judging here. In fact, I think that the poverty and terrorism situation in Somalia is bad enough that we should be sending triple the food and medical aid, plus keeping some peacekeeping forces there. Its just that the USA is a lot better to have as a friend than as the ship towing your lifeboat as a team of Navy SEAL snipers wait to get a shot. Those men are the most elite and daring badasses on the planet. 

3 Confirmed Kills. We're done here. Hey, Nate, when's the game on!?

     3. As in most of that area of the world, the problem is Al-Qaeda

     Somalia has been ravaged by a terrible civil war since the early 90s. Once again, the problem is Islamic fundamentalists. The lack of a stable government has hurt the nation more than anything else, and terrorism abounds. Al-Qaeda is rearing its ugly head once again, and an organization called the "Islamic Courts Union" has established Sharia law in much of the south. Instead of concentrating their efforts on ransoming off the people concerned with establishing religious liberty and promoting economic development in third nations, maybe they should help out the Pan-African Union peacekeeping forces in establishing a functioning government again. If you do, we got your back, Jack.

     In all seriousness, that poor nation has been through a lot. It doesn't excuse piracy, but I understand why people are being forced into that way of life. I think it's important as a nation to support their economic development and transitional government. Also, though, and most importantly, I think Somalia is in need of prayer. If you're so inclined, perhaps take a minute tonight to pray for the well-being of people there? 

     The next post will be about why San Francisco is the world's worst city. Have fun listening to my personal experiences. Post will come either Friday night or Saturday during the day.

     Comments? Praise for US Navy Personnel? Drop a comment.