First Post: 5 Reasons why the US Post Office shouldn't exist

     I have decided to begin this blog to share my razor-sharp wit, great intellect and questionable mental stability with the world. My goal is simply to share with the world my opinions and views on Politics, Economics, Culture, Obesity, Trap music, and frozen yogurt. That is, I plan to talk about Freedom, Prosperity, and Swagger in America.
     I begin with a topic that needs addressing. If you ever needed proof that politicians spend all their time arguing about clearly static problems instead of opting for get-the-government-rich-quick schemes, here it is: the U.S. Post office still exists. The fact that I sit here now writing this on a computer, and you reading this on your phone or laptop (or Samsung tablet, if you hail from the hipster cities of Austin, Portland, or the Soviet Socialist Republic of San Francisco, all of which will be on the receiving end of one of these commentaries soon enough) should be reason enough for the Post Office to no longer exist. But if that's not enough, here are 5 reasons as to why we should wipe the US Post office from the annals of history.

1. Mailmen are mean... 

     My mother always told me that dogs were the best judges of character. Dogs don't just chase mailmen because they drive cars (well, mine does). All I'm saying is, when was the last time your mailman said "have a nice day" or even "Oh, boy! You sure got a lot of mail today!"? One more thing: if you took offense to the fact that I used the term "mailman" instead of the gender-neutral "mail-carrier", this is the wrong blog for you.

     2. In the mail-delivery cars, the driver sits on the right.

     What is this, Britain? Communist China?

     3. The collector's stamp designs are horrible.

     Some are cool. One of their new releases was the Battle of Lake Erie from the War of 1812. Then there are Lady Bird Johnson collector stamps. And Innovative Choreographers. And Johnny Cash. And O. Henry, a 19th Century short-story writer with a horrible mustache. All show things only baby-boomers remember, and all are created with taxpayer money, so that they can sit there and not be sold, because e-mail is free.

     4. Because We Can.

     Article 1, Section 8 of the US Constitution enumerates the powers of Congress. One of the powers delegated to Congress is as follows: "To Establish Post Offices and Post Roads".

     From there, its not too far a jump to "Annihilate Post Offices and Post Roads".

     5. When is the last time you sent a letter?

     No, seriously. I'm asking.